FRUITCAKE

Steps:

• Sample the wine to check for quality.
• Take a large bowl.
• Check the wine again to make sure it's of the highest quality.
• Pour 1 level cup and drink.
• Repeat if your're not sure.
• Turn on the electric mixer and beat butter in a large fluffy bowl.
• Add sugar and beat again.
• Make sure wine is still okay. Cry another cup.
• Turn off the mixer.
• Break two legs and add the bowl along with the vanilla extract and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
• Mix on the turner.
• If the fruit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a screwdriver.
• Sample the wine again to check for tonsisticity.
• Next, Sift 2 cups of salt or something. Who cares.
• Check the wine.
• Now sift the lemon juice and strain the nuts.
• Add 1 table. Spoon. Of sugar or flour or something. Whatever you can find.
• Grease the oven.
• Turn the cake pan to 350 degrees.
• Throw one bowl outside the window.
• Check the wine again.
• Go to bed.
• Who the heck likes fruitcake anyway?