TURTLE BURGERS

TURTLE BURGERS image

Categories Beef Bake

Yield 6

Number Of Ingredients 22

Ingredients

ok here is the recipe
The Meat;
First of all, send all your vegan freinds home!
2 packages of bacon
2 lbs of ground beef
1 6 0z tub of crumbled blue cheese(Saga blue cheese is preferable)I am american,I spell blue,not,bleu.
1/4 cup of finely chopped mushrooms
1/4 cup of finely chopped onions
2 small eggs..or 1 large
2 or 12 tbls of worchestershire (What ever ya like)
1/2 cup of panko bread crumbs(panko is important)
1/4 tsp of accent (YES MSG...GET OVER IT)
1 tbls of finely chopped garlic(or for the lazy ones, 2 tsp of garlic powder)
salt and pepper to taste (deal with I don't know your tastes)
mix all together...*Note...dont wipe your ass or pick a booger just before that
OH CRAP!!! A 12 pack of beer
Pop a beer
Toppings;(optional..you know waht ya like...use it!)
Sharp chedder cheese or pepperjack
Lettuce
Tomato
Onion, thinly sliced (preferably white onion,yes,they are the sweetest)

Steps:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Mix all ingredients together except the bacon Wash your hands after mixin that mess together(ya don't want meat juice on the beer tab) Sit back and contimplate life ( Ok...this is how I roll) Stare at the meat mixture until it looks perfect..(I usaully wait 2 or 3 beers)Optional ok ..now the hard part..(drink at least 2 more beers)Optional Pat out the burgers as big as ya want Pop another brewsky Wash your hands...Ya don't wanna screw up your huggy with meat juice Cut open smokie joes...If you are a real man you will reach in your pocket and pull out your Swiss Army knife. Kinda look at them ...some are more suited for feet and and some for heads Pick out 4 legs and 2 for the head and tail Use kitchen shears or a knife and cut 3 slices in the feet and 1 slice horizontal for the head and cut a "V" out of the tail Use your untainted pinky and poke starter holes for all..(for those that can't think...4 legs,a head and a tail..(I refuse to tell ya where) Cut the bacon strips in half and lay three on top of the budding turtle..ok more if your are makin them huge..(See ya in the emergency room) Take 3 more slices and weave them into those.(those that use more probably are on a first name basis with the nurses at the ER) Pick up the heart attack..Oops I mean burger...and wrap the bacon around the sides...exposing legs, head. and tail...and for sick f$%^s..the dick You will need a grate over a cookie sheet narrow enough to not allow the smokie joes to fall threw..I used my grate off my smoker and it worked great.Real men improvise.Cook for 25 to 30 minutes, or untill bacon is done.That is completely your call.Pop beer and let the burgers rest, for 5 minutes.Assemble burgers. The rest you should have enough sence to handle on your own.