CHRISTMAS CAKE

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Christmas Cake image

Christmas Cake is one of the traditional joys of the holiday season - but it also fills the producer with terror - in case it isn't perfect. This is the antidote, and is exactly what you need for Christmas - a laugh!

Provided by Phyllis Elias

Categories     Dessert

Time 5h

Yield 1 cake, 4-6 serving(s)

Number Of Ingredients 10

1 cup water
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
nuts
1 (1500 ml) bottle vodka
2 cups dried fruit

Steps:

  • Sample the Vodka to check quality.
  • Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again.
  • to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
  • Repeat.
  • Turn on the electric mixer.
  • Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
  • Add one teaspoon sugar.
  • Beat again.
  • At this point it is best to make sure that the Vodka is shtill OK.
  • try another cup-- just in case.
  • Turn off the mixerer.
  • Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in a cup of dried fruit.
  • Pick fruit up off floor.
  • Mix on the turner.
  • If the dried fruit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
  • Sample the Vodka to check for tonsisticity.
  • Next sift two cups of salt.
  • Or something.
  • Who giveshz a whip.
  • Check the Vodka.
  • Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
  • Add one table.
  • Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
  • Whatever you can find.
  • Greash the oven.
  • Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
  • Don't forget to beat off the turner.
  • Finally throw the bowl through the window, finish the Vodka and kick the cat.
  • Cherry Mistmas!

Nutrition Facts : Calories 1553, Fat 5.5, SaturatedFat 1.6, Cholesterol 211.5, Sodium 1011.4, Carbohydrate 172.4, Fiber 8.3, Sugar 103.3, Protein 8.9

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