Best Drunken Fruitcake Recipes

DRUNKEN FRUITCAKE

Steps:

• 1. 1. Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
• 2. 2. Sample the whiskey again to be sure it really is high quality.
• 3. 3. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again, to be absolutely sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup of it and drink. Repeat. Turn on the metric elixer, beat one cup and add some butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat the mess again.
• 4. 5. Make sure the whispey is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break two bowls and add to the egg then chuck in the cup of fried druit. Throw in the flour. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sip some more whiskey before adding to the mood fixer!!
• 5. 7. Add the baking sofa, you sure could do with a lie down now!! Where's the wottle of biskey gone? Stir in the soda if you can find the mixing cup and that wooden spoon thingy.
• 6. 10. Now sample the whiskey again to check for tonsilsisity. Next, sift two cups of salt, or something like that. Who cares? Check the whispy. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add another tablepoon of sugar or whatever you can find. Add some of the Whipsy if there's any left.
• 7. 13. Grease the oven, turn the cake tin to 850 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window, check the whiksy, whipsisky, cup another try, try again, have another drinky, where's that oven? And go to bed.......or have a snooze, what the heck!!! Yum Yum! Zzzz! Zzzzzzz!!!!

THE FANNY FARMER DARK FRUITCAKE

Steps:

• Set oven to 325 degrees F.
• Butter two 9 x 5-inch loaf pans.
• Line the pans with foil, then butter the foil.
• Cream the butter or shortening.
• Add in brown sugar; beat until light.
• Add in lemon extract and eggs and beat well.
• Stir in molasses and blend to combine.
• In a small bowl combine the flour with baking soda, cinnamon, allspice, mace, cloves and salt; beat into the creamed mixture until combined.
• Add in milk; beat until combined.
• Stir in the candied fruit, candied cherries, candied citron, dates or raisins and nuts; mix well.
• Transfer/divide the batter between the two pans.
• Bake for 1 to 1-1/4 hours or until the loaves test done.
• Turn out onto racks to cool.
• When completely cooled wrap well and store in an airtight container.
• BRANDIED FRUIT CAKE OPTION; soak two large pieces of cheesecloth in brandy.
• Wrap each fruit cake in the cheesecloth covering all sides, then wrap well in foil.
• Moisten the cheesecloth with additional brandy every few days for about a week.

CHRISTMAS FRUITCAKE

Steps:

• Soak cherries, mango, cranberries, currants, and citron in 1/4 cup rum for at least 24 hours. Cover tightly, and store at room temperature.
• Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Butter a 6x3-inch round pan or loaf pan and line it with parchment paper.
• In a large bowl, cream together butter and brown sugar until fluffy. Beat in egg. Whisk together flour, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon; mix into butter and sugar in three batches, alternating with molasses and milk. Stir in soaked fruit and chopped nuts. Scrape batter into prepared pan.
• Bake in preheated oven for 40 to 45 minutes. Cool in the pan for 10 minutes, then sprinkle with 2 tablespoons rum.
• Cut out one piece parchment paper and one piece cheesecloth, each large enough to wrap around the cake. Moisten cheesecloth with 1 tablespoon rum. Arrange cheesecloth on top of parchment paper, and unmold cake onto it. Sprinkle top and sides of cake with remaining rum. Wrap the cheesecloth closely to the surface of the cake, then wrap with paper. Place in an airtight tin, and age for at least 10 weeks. If storing longer, douse with additional rum for every 10 weeks of storage.